Having a baby can bring enormous love and joy. It can also bring broken sleep, major hormonal changes, identify shift, relationship challenges, a whole new level of responsibility and a surprising amount of time spent discussing bodily fluids.

In other words, it’s a lot. And as a result, it isn’t unusual to experience some challenges in this period of time. 

Up to 80% of women experience the “baby blues” in the first few days after birth. You might feel teary, anxious, irritable or overwhelmed—sometimes all before breakfast. These feelings are common and will usually settle within a few days.

For some mothers, however, difficult feelings persist, become more intense or begin to affect daily life. Around one in five women experiences anxiety and/or depression during the perinatal period (this means during pregnancy, birth and postpartum).  Mental health difficulties can develop during or after any pregnancy and may appear suddenly or creep in gradually over weeks or months.

What might it look like?

Postnatal mental health difficulties do not always look like sadness. You might notice:

• Constant worry or an inability to switch off
• Irritability, anger or rage
• Feeling numb, disconnected or unlike yourself
• Frightening or unwanted thoughts
• Guilt or a sense that you are getting motherhood wrong
• Difficulty resting, even when you have the chance
• Feeling overwhelmed by your baby’s needs
• Not feeling the bond or enjoyment you expected

Experiencing these things does not mean you are a bad mother, and it does not mean you do not love your baby. It means you are having a hard time and may need some support – something very different from failing.

Looking after your mental health

When we think about self-care, we often think about luxurious massages, getting to the gym and maybe even hours of perfectly focused meditation. All this can feel pretty unattainable when holding a baby and reheating the same cup of tea for the fourth time.

Taking care of yourself in the postnatal period can be much simpler: accepting practical help, eating something regularly, resting when you can, staying connected with people who make you feel safe, getting outside when you can, and lowering expectations of everything that is not essential.

It also means checking in with how you are going, not only how your baby is feeding and sleeping. If you are struggling, telling someone early can make a real difference. Self-care is helpful, but it is not a replacement for professional support when you need it.

How I can help

At Adelaide Women’s Healthcare Collaborative, I support women experiencing perinatal anxiety and depression, birth trauma, emotional overwhelm, difficulties adjusting to motherhood, struggles with relationship changes and concerns about bonding or connection with their baby.

Therapy offers a warm, practical and non-judgemental space to make sense of what you are experiencing. You do not need to have a diagnosis, know exactly what is wrong or wait until you reach crisis point. “I don’t feel like myself” is enough of a reason to reach out.

Where else to find support

Your GP
Can work with you to find the right supports and options for you and your family

ForWhen: 1300 24 23 22
Support connecting to perinatal mental health and wellbeing services

PANDA National Helpline: 1300 726 306
Specialist support for expecting and new parents

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Crisis support, 24 hours a day

SA Mental Health Triage: 13 14 65
Urgent mental health support, 24 hours a day

Emergency: Call 000 or attend your nearest emergency department if you or your baby are in immediate danger

Written by Gemma Sandeman – Perinatal Therapist & Social Worker

Instagram: @gemma.sandeman.therapy
Website: www.gemmasandeman.com